Wrath of the Deranged
by FlyingHope90
Summary: In an attempt to be humorous, I have created a fic where the excluded Daroga and I ,the crazed authoress, contain all the POTO characters in a room and watch them suffer. Arbitrary, ridiculous, and deranged, this is where it all comes together. MUAHAHAHA
1. Prologue

**A/N:** Hi readers! (If there are any) Okay, this fic will circle around the Daroga and me as we make the POTO characters' lives hell. For those ignorant beings out there, the Daroga will also be called the Persian from time to time, so they're the same guy. Hope you enjoy!

**Wrath of the Deranged**

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_How many people abhor the Daroga's miniscule role in The Phantom of the Opera and fan fiction after? Yeah, that's what I thought. Well, he's pissed and plans to plot his revenge; little does he know a crazed authoress is keeping her eye on him. _

_We come to our hero as he walks down a cobblestone pathway, juggling his bags of groceries and mumbling dark things under his breath. (We hear snatches of "damn. .groceries…Erik, fanfiction…Fop.") Suddenly, a bright, pure light appears before him and a silhouette steps out of it. The Daroga drops his bags of goodies and (I'm so sorry to say) his fruits were splattered all over the ground. Turning on his heel, he flees back the way he came. Well, the being won't have none of that and with a flick of her finger, a hook appears and drags the unwilling Daroga back._

_"Shame on you, Daroga!" the being chortles. "Have you lost all your manners? Not even a hello or a how are you? You didn't even ask who I am." _

"_I know who you are!" the Persian howls. "You're one of those damn authoresses come to interview me on Erik, or Christine, or that FOP!" He starts clawing the air and trying to grab the hook that has hold of him fast. The being sheds her light and appears in her normal clothes; meaning cargo pants and a T-shirt that says "Get it? Got it? Good!" She sighs and says, "Well, yes I'm an authoress but I haven't come to ask about the love triangle. In fact I've come to give you an irresistible offer I KNOW you can't refuse." Here, the Persian stops and listens attentively. "What if I gave you the chance to share my awesome authoress powers and help your revenge against the POTO characters?" The Persian's eyes grow bright and his mouth transforms into a creepy grin. Suddenly he frowns. "What's the catch?" The authoress chortles again (What? I like that word!) "No catch. I'm just really bored and I love torturing beings from my favorite movies or books. Besides, you seemed a bit left out and I felt sympathetic (which is not often I might add, so you're one of the lucky guys!). By the way, the name's Katz." "Katz," the Daroga samples. "Nice to meet you. Now when doesthis torture begin?"_

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_Katz and the Persian are swept into a large conference room with a mahogany table in the center and crimson, leather couches surrounding it. There is one door on the side, but the remarkable thing about the room was a large wall-sized window across from the door. Through the window was a 10 foot long hallway which opened up into a large square room. In the room were 4 beds, 2 on opposite sides. Across from the window was an organ, about the same as the one in Erik's lair, and was covered with blank music sheets._

**Katz:** Well, how do you like it?

**Daroga:** The furniture is a bit scarce, but the window is breath-taking.

**Katz:** Hmm, you compliment and criticize at the same time.

**Daroga:** Sorry, force of habit.

**Katz:** Habit?

**Daroga:** Yeah. It's Erik's fault. Compliment him, and he thinks you're lying. Criticize, and he gets enraged. He's very unstable.

**Katz:** All the more reason to torture him.

**Daroga:** Wait, so that square room with the organ is the torture chamber? It has beds and an _organ _for chrissakes! I was locked in a mirror room with no way to get out in Erik's torture room! And you think that's bad? Guess what, the Fop was in there WITH ME:starts hyperventilating:

**Katz:** Whoa, slow down you're hyperventilating. Don't worry, it seems comfortable, but there are more hidden branches in the art of torture. :coughCarlottacough:

**Daroga:** :brightens considerably:

**Katz:** Oh yes, and I have to give you some of my powers.

**Daroga:** :brightens so much the whole room is illuminated:

**Katz:** But first, you must swear the author/authoress code of author/authoress power in all things that are Fan Fiction.

**Daroga:** :brightness dims down a little: A code? But I thought authors and authoress were almighty. Why do you need a _code_?

**Katz:** Well, the code states that those under the influence of fan fiction power must use them responsibly and obey the Four Rules. Besides, if there were no rules fan fiction would be filled with half-done, crappy, schmutt.

**Daroga:** Okaaaay. What are the Rules?

**Katz:** :rummages in backpack and brings out a wrinkled white book with the title **4**: Ah-hah! Here we go! 1) Never kill off any character in your fan fiction. 2) Always use powers in a creative matter 3) One author/authoress cannot control or uplift the spell set by another author/authoress. And last, 4) Never eat potato chips on top of your keyboard.

**Daroga:** Err, those are the 4 rules?

**Katz:** :closes book shut: Yup, although there are tons of more rules in there, those 4 are the main ones. The rest are superfluous. Alrighty then, ready to become an Author?

**Daroga:** Of course!

**Katz:** Okay, now stay still and close your eyes. I will now say the oath and you must repeat it after me. Understand?

**Daroga:** Yes.

**Katz:** I, Daroga-

**Daroga: **I, Daroga-

**Katz: **-will accept the powers given-

**Daroga: **-will accept the powers given-

**Katz: **-by almighty Authoress Katz-

**Daroga: **-by almighty Authoress Katz-

**Katz: **-and will hereby use it –

**Daroga: **-and will hereby use it -

**Katz: **-only in the holy name of fan fiction-

**Daroga: **-only in the holy name of fan fiction-

**Katz: **-and obey the 4 rules -

**Daroga: **-and obey the 4 rules -

**Katz: **-that guide the powers of all authors and authoresses.

**Daroga: **-that guide the powers of all authors and authoresses.

_A sudden white flash appears and a thunderclap is heard. A bright, white, electrical spark flashes from between Katz and the Persian. Both begin to glow a soft blue color, and little sparkly thingies start floating around. Finally, the thunder and lights are gone and the Persian collapses to the floor. Katz stumbles a bit and mutters "Wow. I'm never doing that again."_

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**Wow. That was weird. **

**Anyway, hope you liked it reader. I really really hope you did. **

**This was my first fic so I need some feedback, people! **

**Anything from compliments to constructive criticism is fine with me.**

**If people like it, I will continue. If it sucked, maybe I should try something new. Thanks for reading!**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Sincerely,**

**Katz**


	2. Happy Greetings

**A/N:** Hi, me again. Here's Wrath of the Deranged Chapter 2, although you probably know that already. :scratches head: And some lines will have parentheses ( like so ) around them to signify the character's thoughts and ones with underlines like so are my own comments :)woo

**Disclaimer:** Oh crap, forgot about this part. Yeah, well, you know the drill. I own nothing but myself.

**Wrath of the Deranged**

**Part II**

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_An unconscious Erik slowly starts to revive himself and opens one bleary eye. _(Where am I?) _he thinks as he slowly lifts his aching limbs from the floor._

"_AH! YOU ARE AWAKE!" boomed a thunderous voice that made Erik's eardrums thrum in pain. _(What the Hell!) _Erik swears. He stands upright with much effort and scans the room. _(Hmm, a square-ish room with a bed, two beds, AH! An organ! At least I shall not die of boredom here. Two more beds and a-)

_Erik pauses and stares at the end of the hallway, since there was a large black mirror at the end For those who haven't put the pieces together yet, that's the one-sided window that covers up the entire wall in the conference room :P which looked vaguely familiar. _(Oh no.)

**Katz:** Hey Daroga, our Sleeping Beauty is awake!

**Erik:** Daroga!

**Daroga:** Hello there Erik. How are you this fine morning?

**Erik:** Well, excluding the fact that I've just woken up from an unconscious sleep on a cold floor and find myself being held captive by you and some crazed authoress, I'm quite chipper.

**Daroga:** :whispers to Katz: He's gonna blow.

**Erik:** All right, Nadir, you had you're fun. Not let me out of here.

**Katz & Daroga:** NO.

**Erik:** Daroga, you know I have been calm with you so far. Now let me out before I seriously decide to maim you.

**Daroga:** I would love to see you try.

**Erik:** Dammit, you bastard. You've just signed your death sentence:does flashy thingy with Punjab lasso which we allowed him to keep: I know you're behind that black mirror! Let me out before I smash it to pieces! Trust me, I've smashed mirrors before!

**Katz:** :has recollection of the end of the POTO movie: Oh, don't bother Erik. You'll only hurt you're shoulder, seeing that you don't have any useful candelabrum at the moment.

**Erik:** You! You're the authoress of this _fic_ aren't you?

**Katz:** That's me, suh :bad Western accent:

**Erik:** I want out, do you hear? Do you know I was in the middle of watching Christine perform a crucial part in her career!

**Katz:** More like you were watching her undress behind that fakey mirror of yours. :Daroga and Katz snicker:

**Erik:** :turns a new shade of scarlet: Well, it was a crucial part anyway! And you stole my idea of a one-way mirror! I had that copyrighted!

**Katz:** Nuh-uh! You were underground, man, how could you have a see-through mirror copyrighted?

**Erik:** Daroga did it for me, although I regret the praise I had given him for doing so.

**Daroga:** _Praise?_ I'm sorry Erik, but I'm afraid I don't remember any praise I've received from you in my entire life! You treated me like an object rather than a being, your only communication to the outside world. You've murdered, abducted, stole, and cheated, yet you're the hero of every movie, novel, and fanfiction! While I was pushed to the side as a secondary character; puny, compared to the great Phantom of the Opera! But now, I will have my sweet revenge at last! Do you hear? REVENGE!

**Erik:** :was examining the organ: I'm sorry Nadir, did you say something?

**Daroga:** Wow, perfect opportunity to test my new powers.

**Erik:** Wait, what powers-

**Daroga:** :Does a wave with his finger:

**Erik:** :turns into the hottest pink imaginable. imagine hot pink that has been added with even more neon pink and shine a bright light on it. yeah, you got it: _ARGHHHHHHHHH! My outfit!_

**Daroga:** Pretty impressive for a beginner, eh?

**Katz:** Pfft, that was pathetic! The first spell I ever did when I became authoress was turn my sister small and flush her down the toilet. C'mon, you wanted _revenge_ remember?

**Daroga:** Yeah, revenge. :furrows eyebrows: I got it:waves whole hand in a clock-wise circle:

**Erik:** :turns back to normal, then feels a tightening sensation in his throat: What are you doing Daroga-:voice becomes thin, high, squeaky, and has a certain feministic quality:

**Katz:** Agh! Daroga! You just ruined Erik's voice!

**Daroga:** Yeah, that tightening sensation was his vocal cords being filled with helium. It seemed the perfect thing to do; I mean his voice was the reason why Christine was drawn to him anyway.

**Katz:** Yeah, it's pretty impressive. But this is the _Angel's_ voice we're talking about! If you ruin his voice, the Phans are going to maim us! Literally, _maim us!_ I heard they got psychic bloodhounds now in case they find a fic they don't agree with!

**Daroga:** Aw c'mon! How harmful can a couple of Phangirls be?

_Suddenly, from the outside, the sound of thousands of marching feet are heard with the song "Track down this Murderer." Crazy whoops and bloodthirsty cries of "Save Erik!" are chanted over and over. Barking is also heard, supposedly from bloodhounds._

**Katz:** Quick! Uplift the spell! They're coming for us! I can't do it for you, remember Rule Number 3!

**Daroga:** Okay, okay! I'm working on it:waves hand counter-clockwise this time:

**Erik:** :his normal voice is returned: I must say, that was the most frightening moment of my life.

_The chants start moving away, and is soon is gone all together._

**Katz:** Phew. :flops onto leather cough: That was way to close.

**Daroga:** What were those, things?

**Katz:** Phans; a combo word of Phantom and Fans. Girls who mass together and support all things with Erik and despise all things with Raoul. If they had found us, we would have never survived. :dramatic music plays:

**Daroga:** What would happen if they had caught us?

**Katz:** Well, they would have first strung us up by our feet, then place us in a dark room. We would be starved for a few weeks, then they tickle us with feathers if we had managed to survive the starvation. If we're still alive, then they would force us to watch a show on how to use an abacus. To make us watch, our eyelids would be propped up with _toothpicks_. I have never known anyone to survive that last phase.

**Katz & Daroga:** :shudder:

**Katz:** Hey, Erik!

**Erik:** :lying on the bed, refusing to get up how rude: Yes?

**Katz:** Are you feeling lonely at the moment?

**Erik:** I've been alone my whole life, _why_ would I feel lonely now?

**Katz:** Well, I was considering the fact that the atmosphere would be much more cheerful if a certain Miss Daae was brought in-

**Erik:** :bolts upright _fast_: Now that you mention it I feel very alone and it would be very gratifying if a certain person who has female characteristics was brought in to sooth my lonely and desolate heart. :starts humming "I'm so lonely":

**Katz:** Alrighty then! Daroga, if you don't mind.

**Daroga:** :waves hands in a sharp curve:

_A person is swept into the room and falls onto the floor with a sickening "thunk." "OW!" it cries. Erik's face shows boundless joy, then confusion, and finally rage._

**Erik:** This isn't Christine! It's, it's…

**Katz:** Well, you wanted someone with feministic qualities. :shrugs:

**Raoul:** Oh, my. I seem to be stuck in a room with a very angry Phantom of the Opera. I wonder why he's so angry my Precious. :holds up a silver compact mirror and gazes lovingly into it:

**Erik:** the FOP!

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**Wanted it to be a cliffhanger, but didn't manage it so well…**

**So, now we're getting into some action where characters are now being accumulated into the torture room.**

**Hopefully, this chapter was more exciting than the last one, but I need feedback on it so…:hinthint:**

**REVIEW READERS! And I will become your obedient slave!**

**Remember, you hold the key to what I write!**

**So please R&R!**

**Your most Obedient Servant:**

**Katz**


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